Adventures in Agent M’s Brain


“Aaaaaahh!!” That was the first word out of Jason’s mouth. He found himself, whoever he was, falling down from the ceiling. He fell with a thud onto the green, carpeted floor. The adolescent ferret was dusting himself off, noticing on the blue polo shirt he was wearing his name on right side and “HTML Ferret” written at the left above his breast pocket. He grumbled, making sure he had no broken bones.

“Hey!” Jason jumped as he felt a tap on the shoulder.

“What the-” He found himself staring at a tall otter, slightly younger than himself, wearing green button-up shirt not all the way buttoned up. The otter spoke:

“Who are you?” The ferret stared quizzically back.

“Jason…wait…where am I?”

The otter smiled. “Agent M’s brain, of course. Oh, and I’m Rodney.”

“Agent M’s brain?! Who the heck is this Agent M kid?”

Rodney sighed and pushed the ferret into a cushy chair while he sat on the couch.

“Agent M came up with you and me and all of the other characters in the apartment complex. I’ve been here since…July, yeah, July, so I’ve been around the block a few times. I’ve seen characters stop by and leave. I’ve almost slipped out of here a few times, actually. Then I just go and beat her up.”

The ferret looked appalled. “You beat up little girls!”

Rodney laughed. “Kidding, kidding!” He grabbed a cookie that was sitting on the coffee table and bit into it.

“I don’t get this,” Jason sighed, rubbing his temples. “Her characters?”

Rodney swallowed his cookie. “Yeah. Her characters. She came up with you and me and-wait. I’ve been through this already. She has a very active imagination, you see. Some might say ‘over active’ perhaps. She can come up with a character while taking notes in math class, or while doodling in her free time in science; quite amazing, actually. See…look, this is how she came up with you. Come here.” He grabbed Jason’s arm and pulled him over to a large computer screen. He pointed at a sentence. “…When I saw that, the HTML ferret that lives in my brain started screaming :P”

Jason rolled his eyes. “Number one, she didn’t even end her sentence correctly. I hate emoticons.”

Rodney mumbled, ‘Knit-picker.”

Jason continued. “And number two, the Jason doesn’t cry.”

The otter muffled a laugh. “Sure.”

Jason had been pacing the living room for ten minutes. Rodney walked out of the kitchen eating some red Jell-O.

“Will you knock it off?” Rodney yelled.

“I can’t…I’m just…” Jason trailed off.

“How ‘bout I show you around.” Rodney grabbed Jason and pulled him off, touring around the large apartment, from living room, to kitchen, to main bath, and so on. When they reached Rodney’s room, they stopped.

“And this is my room,” said Rodney, grinning as he opened the door. It was a large room with a king sized bed, covered in a dark green bedspread, sitting in the corner of the blue room. He had an iMac laptop sitting on a hard wood table by the bed. There was a bass leaning up against its amp on the opposite corner, and a big-screen TV mounted on the wall. Rodney’s various gaming devices were sitting in their glass cabinet in his drawer below the television that held everything from Nintendo 64’s to his socks. He walked over down the hall and opened up another door. It was a white room with a red twin bed in the middle of the room. Surrounding it were computers, disassembled hard drives, computer monitors, keyboards, and boxes neatly stacked, filled with spare parts. In the corner was a drafting-style table with a small tool kit sitting atop it. There seemed to be a yellow halo around the room to Jason. Jason slowly waltzed it, as if he was in a trance. Rodney snorted.

“Have fun,” he said, slamming the door. He went back to the kitchen and grabbed a Rice Crispy Treat. He licked the sugary, marshmallow and puffed-rice goodness from his lips and walked back to Jason’s room. He quietly opened up the door and snuck up behind the ferret, who was gazing at the room still. He pinched him hard.

“YOW!” Jason sprung up in pain and whipped around.

“What’d you do that for?” He yelled.

Rodney rolled his eyes. “You’ve been standing there for ten minutes. Plus, I want to show you around the neighborhood.” Grabbing Jason’s arm, he ran off through the house, racing down the stairs, they sped off down the street.

“You see, some people other than Agent M’s own characters live here,” Rodney explained to Jason, slowing down. “Some of her favorite characters from TV, movies, stuff like that, they live here too.”

Rodney began to point out houses. “Underdog lives there,” he pointed to a 70’s era house.  “And across the street lives James T. Kirk.” Jason started jumping up and down.

“James T. Kirk! Like, the Captain Kirk! Oh my gosh oh my gosh!” Rodney turned around to face him, grabbing his shoulders and holding him down.

“Okay, okay! Knock it off! The rest of the cast lives down the street. Settle down, you geek!”

Jason became enraged. “Geek! Why, I ought to…” He punched Rodney’s arm. Rodney punched back, harder.

“Hey, watch it!” Jason squeaked.

“Don’t punch me,” said Rodney flatly, continuing to walk down the street.

The neared a gazebo in the middle of a large park. Rodney pointed to it.

“Sometimes I do concerts there. I’m a musician, you know.” He hopped up and snapped his fingers. A piano appeared as well as a violinist. He began playing the piano soulfully. He started singing.

“It’s too late to apologize…” Suddenly, huge crowds of girls appeared, screaming and fainting.

“Isn’t he dreamy?” one girl asked Jason before swooning on the spot. Jason simply blew a raspberry and rolled his eyes.

It was 10:00pm by the time the duo got back. Rodney’s on the spot concert had earned him six bouquets of roses and three standing ovations. He had done covers of Coldplay, Jonas Brothers, and the Beatles. They walked in and as Rodney was putting his flowers into a vase, he turned to Jason who was standing behind him.

“Got you something,” he smiled. He threw him a key identical to his own. “Figured that you’d want your own. You’re a big boy.” Jason nodded his thanks and strolled off to his room. He lay on his bed, thinking about his first day of life.

“I think I’m going to like it here…” Jason murmured as he dropped of to sleep.

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One Response to “Adventures in Agent M’s Brain”

  1. Segalia May 23, 2010 at 12:47 am #

    Hey, I was the cause for Jason! Because I did something wrong on my sig and you corrected me making up Jason. So you can partially blame me Jason, sorry. Very interesting brain, Agent M!

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